11/17

For a week, I've been going on like a vicious working machine. My sleeping hours come erratically, more often than not, and sleeping in the morning has been a habit. I work as much as I study. These two have been being balanced on the ends of the fulcrum and it is not getting any easier.

Just a while ago, I came late to class of a professor who always comes late to class. So I couldn't really care so much, except that short seconds of embarrassment. I was late for not for the lamest reason--because I was busy buying another of John Grisham's well-written books that suited my mood for a couple of months now. Moreover, traffic was hell during Saturdays and I'm not really sure why. Good thing, she was discussing things I already know of, but my classmates from the other class, disappointingly and annoyingly not, and I'm not sure why again. Without a bit of remorse, I called them stupid. I mean honestly, they have just studied those last semester and questions were very basic. Minus  the arrogance, those were very elementary. 

Sometimes, I just notice that law students, and that includes me occasionally, think too much. We think that there is always a deeper, more eloquent answer to the the very basic question posed, which only requires a very basic answer. Instead, they go rambling on and on full of platitudes on how the law works like magic, but do not really answer the question. 

Law is very practical and realistic. Its foundations and principles may rest on the best of the ideals of justice, the good and what is moral, but bottomline, it's just an argument of facts and reason which a practical and reasonable mind can go about. You don't need to impress people with banality and truisms in your recitation. It doesn't make you look smart. The professors have heard of that since ancient times and they have had enough of it.

A great professor is one who tells us the truth--truth that real lawyering is remotely far from what we learn in the academe. We are bombarded with theories and hundreds of questions and a dying posture to please the won't-ever-be-pleased attorney professors we meet everyday. But I know it's just roughly 10 percent of what we need to know. I am very aware of the fact that when someone is a fresh graduate of law, you should expect to do all the grunt work of an associate for a firm, government or corporations. You expect that you know everything and that you can get away with things easily but things do not work out that way. Try volunteering for the government, working for a huge corporation or at least reading legal thrillers or watching Suits.

I've worked before for a big conglomerate corporation before, and oh dear, politics is part of their lifestyle. They breathe bureaucracy. It is where policies are put on the plates of their table as if they are the means for their survival. It's not always for the common good and more inclined on personal gain. This is not far removed from the true setup of the legal profession, I guess.

So, why am I here?

Honestly, I really don't know, why despite my apprehensions and pessimism about this career I willingly took and surprisingly enjoyable for me, I'd still give it a shot for my life. I know many people who wants to be in law school and I ask them if it is what they really want that they'd be willing to sacrifice their life, their time and their family. I ask myself too.

Prep up

It's been a boring and unproductive start of second semester in law school. I am glad and unashamed to pronounce that the first week already got me defeatedly broke from paying school dues and mega expensive loquacious law books. Most of the professors are still missing, others had already declared that hostilities will begin and start packing our bags to our great journey to hell. The thing about law school, is that they make you consume this idea that you're never gonna last, and that they keep reminding you that next day you will fail, most likely. I don't know exactly why they use this as tool for encouragement or at the very least, to scare the shit out of us. 

I am unfazed, bring it on Attorney.

______________

Part of my preparation is to do a background and profile check on our lineup with this sleazy idea that it'd help us prepare for the worst.

One sometimes go to class drunk and swear shits on students and chew on them for about 20-30 minutes, does not often go to class and has this habit of walking to class at the last five minutes, releasing us from the agony of two hours and fifty-five minutes of waiting. This gotta be exciting

Next, a  middle aged lawyer who is currently phenomenal on his rendered judgment on banning the importation of dolphins to the Philippines from a known big entertainment corporation in Singapore. He will teach my most favorite subject so far, Criminal Law. He seemed nice and decent, not full of endless ramblings about how difficult law school is. He just plainly introduced himself with his name (which I quite found amusing) and where he does trial. But he declared 'hostilities', with a smile.

Third is a big shot commissioner who works for the government who's got a big grin on his face for the most part of our class. Bet he's gonna do that the whole semester. I was told to be cautious, because he's actually deadly. An attorney this big doesn't normally make students' life easy, and to begin to prove that, we're required to buy his seemingly overpriced book that we can get for about a third of the original price if it was priced right, to my opinion.

Fourth, a professor who hit the borderline of my patience for tardy professionals. I have nothing to express except for my disappointment and dwindled respect. She was always absent before and made us felt like we wasted practically most of our time on the chairs waiting for her. Ironically, I had my first recitation in her class yesterday answering the question, "Why is the subject the most important subject in law school?". 

Lastly, this young attorney who topped the bar exam who is equally applauded and crushed, according to all the sources I've talked to. Students begin fearing him and end up crushing on him, with giggles. I have yet to see, but surely I'm not gonna be head over heels in love with tons of cases that he's gonna be stacking on my study table.

So far, so good. I have been finishing Grisham during my extra time, then begin to read more than a total of at least 200 pages to prep up for this week. Sometimes, I am not content with what I learn inside law school. I have always been aggressive with outside experience and information about how the real lawyering and its grunt work happens. This road to fame is so slow! I'm reeling for the real thing and grunt work for me is fine as long as I get on-hand training with real lawyers, either at a firm or government, simultaneously with law school. I cannot simply graduate from law school without knowing anything. And that's my flexible plan, hope it works.

Right now, I'd have to thank Grisham for the overview of this rather cutthroat profession I'm slowly and frustratingly getting into.

First.

Would you believe that I was (am) inspired by the "Awkward" series, to have this same insane idea of an having an online diary posting about my ever  endless railing about people and their issues in life. Well my issues, a large chunk.

It's been six months and I still find myself fortunately loitering around law school and things are still less than appealing as usual. It's getting better though, or so I believe. The first months were really tough, pretty much life changing, equally in positive and negative helluva ways. I was able to claw my way out first semester through devouring tons of books and cases, hunkering in my room to study at least 6-10 hours a day, enduring tardy and absentee professors, essentially  watch myself waste my life away, because you wanna learn about the LAW--who is a jealous demanding bitch.

To my lawyer self's defense, learning the legal profession is self-liberating. I've always chosen not to give a fuss about my no less than prestigious profession, which is an irony because (and I've never told anyone about this) one of the big reasons why I "chose" to be a lawyer is because I have too much pride I don't want to get ordered around and just be another lifetime employee who resorts to unscrupulous ways and means to huddle for that ladder all the way to the top of their career. But I was told, lawyering is eating more shit than all known professions in the world. Nevertheless, I'm optimistic, so far. I've always wanted to be on top, and I thought this is the best way to get through my ego. I will never apologize for being ambitious.

Anyway, this blog should contain how I survived law school each day facing the usual hostilities only the law (and my life and lack thereof) has to offer. There would be occasional slips about how I hated my bad recitation or my professor from hell, or my panicky classmates who can't get things figured out or my crush who doesn't seem to know I exist or just simply my day with less than three hours of sleep. At the end of the day, what remains is my silently growing love for the law and my dark ambition to be a courtroom badass.